The most successful people never use these 5 toxic phrases when talking to themselves, says psychologist at Yale

As a faculty member at Yale, I teach hundreds of people every year. I've observed that although all of my students have extraordinary qualities, only some of them go on to live extraordinary lives.

What makes them so special? They have a healthy relationship with themselves. 

Most people, however, have the opposite: a toxic relationship with themselves. They're highly self-critical — which psychology categorizes as self-loathing. 

If you find yourself saying or thinking these five phrases on a regular basis, your self-criticism could be holding you back. But you can replace these phrases with healthier expressions and actions that will help you reach your greatest potential.

This is a viral program running in most people's heads. 

Our brains focus more on the negative than the positive. The well-known negativity biasexplains why, if you get nine compliments and one piece of criticism, you focus on the criticism, dragging your spirits to the ground. 

"I am not good enough" is destructive. It can leave you feeling anxious and depressed, research shows. 

Ask yourself, "What's good for me right now?" You might need a break, a meal, or a walk outside. Something to help you feel better. You'll come back to any situation stronger and in better spirits. 

Self-compassion, research shows, makes you feel more energetic, alive and optimistic.

This one's not only demoralizing, it's scientifically incorrect. The brain is malleable and can continue to change and develop until old age — a phenomenon neuroscientists call neuroplasticity. 

You can change careers at 50 and you can start playing the piano at 80. You can learn new things at any point and, with practice, you can get better at almost anything. 

"I need more practice."

Think of something