I've studied the science of happiness for 10 years—here are 10 sentences I try to use every day

I've spent the last decade immersed in the science of happiness, and I've learned that our relationships are the most important factor contributing to our personal wellbeing. 

While I was researching my new book, "New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That's Got It Wrong," I discovered that there are two major barriers that get in the way of better relationships — and therefore happier lives:

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Here's the good news: Your words have the power to make someone else feel seen, heard, and loved. And by creating happiness for someone else, you ultimately end up experiencing it yourself. 

Here are 10 sentences I try to use every single day to keep my relationships thriving and put what I've learned about happiness into practice.  

Even in our closest relationships, we often hold back on sharing how we truly feel, too worried about being a burden or an imposition. 

Asking this question lets people we care about know that we do want to hear about the vast range of emotions they're experiencing. 

It also gives them a chance to use "labeling," a powerful psychological strategy. Research has found that putting your feelings into words — like saying "I'm really stressed" or "I'm feeling a bit down today" — makes it easier to cope with those feelings. 

We use four types of questions in our conversations, according to researchers from Harvard. The most powerful by far are the follow-up questions that dig deeper and solicit more information. 

Inviting someone to expand on their thoughts or feelings shows them that we really care. 

Taking a moment to thank someone doesn't only make them feel good — it helps us, too. Studies have found that gratitude acts like a protective