4 tips for handling the holidays as a newly single person: 'Give yourself grace,' therapist says

A few Christmas Eves ago, Nicola Slawson got very, very drunk. The London-based writer had spent the previous Christmas with her ex and was attempting to bury those memories.

"I was going through a heartbreak and I think I really didn't handle it well," says Slawson, who writes The Single Supplement, a newsletter for single women, and authored the upcoming book "Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms."

"I'm usually the biggest fan of Christmas," Slawson says. "I'm up early. I'm the one putting the Christmas music on and dancing, singing, and bringing the Christmas spirit. And instead, I basically didn't come alive until about 5 p.m. It was embarrassing and I regret it."

The first holiday as a newly single person can be emotional, especially if your ex attended the previous year's festivities. If you feel anxious about your upcoming family holiday party, it's tempting to make the same mistake Slawson did and overindulge.

But there are better ways to cope with the holidays. By doing some light preparation you can mentally equip yourself to handle whatever emotions and questions come up with grace.

If you know questions about your ex will upset you, it might help to plan some answers ahead of time, says Lisa Marie Bobby, a relationship psychologist and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver.

"If you're afraid of getting teary when your well-meaning cousin asks, 'What happened with Timmy?' you can prepare a graceful response in advance," she says. "Role play these scenarios with a friend or even in front of a mirror."

She offers up the following script as an example: "It was a hard decision, but I'm really focusing on myself right now, and I'd love to hear about what's new with you."

You don't have to